Kyle Orland’s Workblog

Nintendo’s press kit for Electroplankton asks reviewers to consider whether or not video games can be art. A better question in Electroplankton’s case might be whether or not video games are games.

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Calling the PSP version of The Sims 2 a Sims game is a little like calling Mario Tennis a Mario game. Sure, some of the familiar elements are there, but the actual game has nothing in common with what made the series popular in the first place.

So don’t get your hopes up when I tell you that the PSP version of The Sims 2 lets you customize your characters appearance and home to an absurd degree, or when I tell you that part of the game still centers on the maintenance of relationships and character traits. The similarities pretty much end there, and so does the list of interesting parts of the game.

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The referee blows the whistle. The captain takes the ball and dribbles slowly up the sideline. He drops a pass back to his teammate, who sends a sailing lob up towards the center of the goal crease. An alert defender grabs the pass and boots it back up the field. His teammate at midfield cautiously protects the ball while waiting for offensive support.

Suddenly, a giant dinosaur comes crashing down on the field from the sky. He quickly incinerates one player from each team, while another player is frozen by a blue turtle shell surreptitiously thrown amidst the chaos. Two more defenders are knocked down by a shoulder-first tackle, leaving only a goalie between the remaining offensive players and the goal. The ball leaves a light green trail behind it as it soars in a perfectly centered pass, and everything seems to slow down as a dramatic upside-down bicycle kick plants the ball right in the corner of the posts.

Ah, the simple joys of soccer.

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When Konami released Karaoke Revolution in 2003 it was just that… a revolution in what was then a stale and clichéd barroom activity. By using the PS2 as an impartial judge of singing ability, Karaoke Revolution breathed new life into the pastime. Here, finally, was undeniable proof that your version of "I ‘m Coming Out" was better than your Uncle Frank’s.

The series has stagnated a bit since that initial revolution, with two sequels providing not much more than new songs and support for a second microphone. Konami seems to have realized this, and has thrown a handful of new features that try to bring new life to the gameplay. The result is, well, less than revolutionary, but still quite good.

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In its short life, the Nintendo DS has shown that its unique abilities can be put to some great, highly inventive uses. Countless original games have asked players to scribble on the touch screen, yell into the microphone, and keep track of two screens worth of action — and managed to be fun in the process.

But amidst that fun has been a troublesome question - where are all the "normal" games. It’s understandable that the first few games for a new system are obviously going to show off its new abilities, but are DS developers slaves to novelty? I mean, the stylus is great, but when are we going to use those face buttons? Can the DS handle classic gameplay without having to rely on its hardware gimmicks?

Castlevania: Dawn of Sorrow (DOS) answers that last question with a resounding "yes."

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There has always been something about rhythm games. The pairing of simple, hit-the-button-at-the-right-time gameplay with popular songs has created one of the freshest new genres of the last decade. But not all rhythm games are created equal. While the best make you feel like an integral part of a concert experience, the worst replicate all the thrill of a science experiment (see the graphic, hit the button, repeat).

Guitar Hero falls into the former category, giving players an exciting simulation of the guitar playing experience.

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Imagine a never-ending field of pure white snow. Now shape that snow into a mountain full of gently undulating banks and turns. Throw in the occasional ramp (including the occasional impossibly large ramp), some expertly placed rails to gently glide on, and some trees and rocks to break up the monotony. Now imagine yourself at the top, ready for the most amazing skiing and/or snowboarding experience of your life.

But wait… first you have to dodge that kid on the innertube. And be sure to grind the marked rails to build up your "hype." Don’t forget to pick up the little floating dollar sign symbols to earn cash for new gear. Try to ignore Tyson as he tells you that "you’re going down."

And why is there a helicopter in the middle of the mountain?

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Portable games are not supposed to involve sprawling, multi-generational stories. Portable games are supposed to involve matching blocks together or making things explode or jumping on things with licensed cartoon characters. They are supposed to be full of quick action that can entertain you for fifteen minutes without requiring you to think too much.

Like many DS games before it, Trace Memory dashes the expectations of what a portable game can and should be, and draws you in to an entrancing world in the process.

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A lot of licensed games are absolutely horrible. Developers and publishers know that fans of the property being made into a game will buy it based on the characters on the cover, so they tend to throw these characters into the most derivative, cheaply-produced game they can make as quickly as possible.

One Piece: Grand Battle does not fit this pattern. There is actually a decent game underneath the anime-licensed shell. But this only makes it more frustrating, as every good element seems to have an accompanying annoying flaw that keeps the game from being anything more than an aggressively average fighting game.

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I’ve never owned a dog. Sure, I’ve played with my share of other people’s dogs, but I’ve never gone through the trials and tribulations of raising my very own puppy. So I have no real basis of comparison when judging how well Nintendogs simulates the real life experience of owning a dog. Based solely on this game, though, I’d have to say that owning a real dog seems like it might get old pretty quickly.

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